Blogwagon: A Very Gnomestones Hexmas
A Rankin/Bass Themed Holiday Hex
Welcome back to a very special bonus edition of Gnomestones! We heard that a Prismatic Waystation-led group is putting together a holiday hexmap inspired by Rankin/Bass holiday movies, and I felt oddly compelled to participate. Its probably because I grew up watching Snowmiser and Charlie-in-the-Box.
Well, what kind of hex should we make? Should we lean on our professional wilderness expertise? Or maybe we could leverage our carefully crafted knowledge of folklore based TTRPGs? Or utilize our deep library of online resources, like our ice climbing chart?
Absolutely not, it’s time for Snomes.
SNOMES
Background: Unlike typical gnomes made out of wood or dirt, snomes are made out of snow and ice (and dirt). This holiday season the snomes are feeling bored and therefore disruptive so they’ve used snow-sloth drool to build a crystalline tower on top of a hill, perfect high ground for harrying travelers on the nearby trail. The snomes shout insults at passersby about inherent shortcomings in resilience and uninspiring community networks while pelting them with projectiles. It’s getting completely out of hand.
Gameplay: If approached, the snomes will defend their tower with sharpened icicles, frozen sloth turds, and buckets of freezing water. Some of the snomes will coat themselves in hardened snow and hurl themselves at the attackers from the ramparts. The tower is made of translucent ice, so its interior is completely visible to the outside. The floors (numbered 1-4) are connected by slick, circular stairs.
A giant snow-sloth slumbers in a pit in the ground. It’s unrestrained and can easily climb out if awoken. Its drool freezes prey on contact, though it is fairly slow. The sloth eats everything but snomes.
Snomes rumpus and gamble around a large pot of savory peppered mint stew. If compromised (or if forced to compromise on anything), the snomes will dump out the stew, melting the tower’s foundation and triggering catastrophic structural collapse.
Yukon Cornelius is imprisoned within a solid block of ice. If freed, he will fight on his rescuers’ side with his pickaxe as soon as he secures the silver and gold on Floor 4. Afterwards he’ll want to get his sled dogs back from the Bumble.
Three bearded snome warriors stubbornly guard their treasure horde on the roof. Their ice-spiked morning stars pierce and shatter and their shields stick to flesh like tongues on a frozen light-post. Piles of silver and gold lie around the perimeter, covered in snow drifts and difficult to collect quickly. On a crystal pedestal sits The Vule Log.
The Vule Log - Ancient purple stonewood of unknown origin that never burns away. Placing it on a fire produces thick, incensed smoke and temporarily summons a captive fiend from an unknown dimension. The fire tender is permitted to burn their essential possessions in trade for secrets. The sinister creature will invariably attempt to break free from its summoning constraints through trickery and deceit.
A LIVING POST
One goals of this Blogwagon is to reference and interweave other hexes between posts. You can find updates on the Prismatic Waystation Discord.
We are Hex 0502. Hooray and hip hip! There are six hexes around the Snomes. If you want to play an incorporated version of this map, here are adjustments you can make, with links to those hexes.
When playing extended arcs with the snomes faction you can include their leader, an incredibly ambitious young snome named Berble, as a way of organizing their decision-making. Eventually the snomes will melt.
0501 - Rankin/Bass Pro Shop
An incredibly powerful pyramid. In Yukon Cornelius is unfrozen, he will certainly want the silver and gold. The snome faction leader is an incredibly ambitious young snome named Berble, if she learns about the pyramid she will attempt at all costs to become the messiah.
0601 - Jinglebell Barrens
The snomes on tower floor 2 are familiar with legends of Yuletide’s End, the tragedy of the Bellwrights, and the town’s reputation for silver swords. The snomes sent a party to explore Yuletide’s End and haven’t heard from them in several days. They can be found in Peddler’s Village, led by a snome druid named Brrrr.
0602 - Sadtown
Two snome bards named Grauple and Rime have gotten locked in Blues Rock Prison. They’re trying to keep up the cheer by leading a rendition of “I’m Mister Snowmiser”, on the ice-xylophone and the ice-tambourine, which look exactly as you’d imagine.
0503 - The Silver Steppe
Will the gnomes commandeer The Tiny Bronco if given the chance? Yes. Will they ride away on the Roto-Reaper if the opportunity presents itself? Also Yes. The snomes keep a respectful distance from the nekogoblins, though they are extremely tempted to ride the nekoyaks.
0402 - Transient Snowfields
Oh the snomes do not like those robblings! The snomes will inevitably engage them in a heist war if the die is cast. The snomes are highly interested in capturing the gingerbread mecha as their new home. They admire the transient snow creatures.
0401 - The Valley of Eternal Cheer
A young snome named Twifflof has joined the faction of escalators. He’s claiming that the Blissful Homogenate is speaking to him directly and has attracted a small crowd of motley supporters. Several snomes are participating in the process of turning into rainbow goo.
Ho ho ha ha hoo hoo hee hee
A wizard I am a wizard I be.
Ha ha ho ho hee hee hoo hoo
a wizard be I, so what be you?
Happy Very Short Day Everyone!
